Slacking

Summer has brought an end to any sort of schedule I may have had; between swim lessons, trips to the zoo, gardening and mowing lawn (the list goes on and on) my schedule is a thing of the past (at least until summer is done).  Also, my hubby has been underfoot a little more since we've had such rotten weather.  Lots of rain and ginormous hail and a tornado touched down in the near vicinity, needless to say, rain + the oil patch = no working, but I digress.

I had gotten in a pretty good groove of getting my daughters to bed and then working on my writing, whether it was on my WIP or revisions I was doing something writing geared 5-6 nights a week.
But the longer days are prolonging bedtime and the girls aren't going to bed as good as they were and my writing time is getting pushed later and later.  I'm a procrastinator by nature and once my schedule has been lost I'm screwed.

So last night I sat down at the computer and worked on my revisions for my finished project, I'm on chapter 6 and I've got my word count up to 52,000 words.  Hopefully by the time my writing group starts meeting again in September it will be done so I can get some feed back on the completed project.  I'm also excited to get back to my new book. 

Now to get over a fear of success (if there is such a thing) and send out some submissions.

Is this what I really want?

How many times do we ask ourselves that question? 
Is this what I really want?

Writing, it feels so much like work, like a job, something that isn't fun...sometimes.
Then there are the other times it feels so rewarding, like there is nothing else you'd rather be doing.
It's hard to get started but I never regret the time I spend writing, I usually feel like a pressure has been released once I'm done. I can take a deep breath and feel satisfaction.

You don't know how many times I've thought, "God my life would so much easier if I didn't feel this need to write." 
I put my girls to bed and then it's on to writing.  Sometimes I get whiny, why can't I watch TV like my friends.  I have to tell my inner two year old to put on her big girl panties and get on with it.

So why do I spend so much time on something that I don't seem to pursue down that final path?  
I only take it so far, then I stall. 
Is it possible to be scared of success? 
The feeling that everything might change.  I know logically that change isn't all bad but ...

There are times when writing consumes my thoughts: the next scene in my book, the characters.  Often my WIP is the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about in the morning, the thing I daydream about during the day and yet it is often the last thing that gets worked on.

I know this is what I want.  It's what I keep coming back to no matter how many times I've tried to deny that it's in me and needs a place to be released.   There is something about writing that we can't do without or would so many of us keep pursuing such an illusive master.  It has me in its clutches. 

So today my girls are at Grandma's house and I'm working on revisions. 
I'm proud of myself I'm over 50 000 words and I'm only on chapter 3 of my revisions so at this rate I should have no trouble bringing my word count I where it needs to be.

Why do we do it?

Wouldn't life be so much easier if that urge to write wasn't always hounding us?

I've got girlfriends who relax when the kids are in bed, they read, have a bath, go for a walk or whatever their little hearts desire.  Me, I've got this insatiable urge to write, the fire in my belly to get a story down.  There's always a story playing out in my head.  Once I get started with my writing it is enjoyable and the time flies by (usually), but sometimes I just wish there was more time in a day or a week.

I do figure a woman should be able to have it all but it is taking all of my organizational prowess to make sure I get everything done in a day.  I home school my DD#1 and in a couple years she will be joined by her sister.  As a stay-at-home Mom there's always the pressure to keep a neat, clean house (easier said than done) and have supper on the table for my children and hard working husband (who supports my decision to home school and write, he just wishes I would get published since I've been working at it for so many years).  Plus, now that it's summer there is the garden and the acre of lawn to mow every week and swimming lessons and dance lessons. 

And somehow in the midst of the chaos my writing gets tabled and is the last thing I'm able to work on at night when I'm not feeling my perkiest.  The house is silent and all I want to do is sit down with a good book and a cup of tea.  Believe me, I've tried to get up when the hubby gets up in the morning and every time I attempt it I'm thwarted by my children getting up an hour early.  It's like they've got some sort of sense that I'm trying to get something done.  How do they do that?

But for all my whining about a lack of free time I love the process of writing and revisions and creating something.  I tried to quit and I can't so I might as well put in the time and see if I can't make something of it.

For all of you gals out there who do it all, you have my admiration. 

Now if only the hubby would understand why I'm so tired at night...

Ah Life

It seems like my May has been so busy but if I had to sit down and figure out what is keeping me so busy I would be unable to list the reasons.  All I know is I haven't been spending as much time on my writing as I should be.  It seems that things keep popping up and interupting my kid-free writing days.   
But I did get my day (finally) yesterday.  I just had to work around the DH who was at home because of the rain.  I love him but he just talks way too much. 
I've worked my way through the hard copy of my book and now I need to put all my changes into the computer and write a couple extra scenes that would make things more complete.
I am looking forward to getting through revisions so I can continue my next work in progress.  I decided to focus on one at a time or I would never get either of them completed.  I've also dug out my short story collection.  I want to rework them and hopefully submit them.  Eek!

Revisions

Revisions.  I've always heard a lot about revisions but not until recently have I really undertaken any large important ones, just ones for short stories.  I started the revisions for the book I just finished and I'm actually enjoying the process. 
So much has happened since I started writing it approximately 4 years ago.  I've got so many ideas for sub-plots and changes that it will be the book I started writing but better.
I've learned so much about the process of writing in the last couple years and my writing club has really pushed my writing further.  I write almost everyday and really find something lacking in my day if I don't get a little bit done, even if it's only 30 minutes. 
Kids are no excuse not to write I've discovered, oh they're a believable excuse, but still an excuse. 
If you're serious you'll find time, so like my grandpa used to say, "shit or get off the pot!"

Writing Club

I just got back from my monthly Writer's Club and, as always, thoroughly enjoyed myself.
It's a night when I actually get to leave the house-alone.  No kids, no car seats, no snacks and diaper bags.  It's all about writing.  It's fun to discuss what's going on with our current writing projects.  It inspires me to continue on my path when I see others struggling too. 

I've finally completed my outline using the Marshall Novel writing software .  I didn't plot to the very end because a lot will change for me between the beginning and the end BUT I did plot through my middle.  It's where I need the most help; I tend to have saggy middles.  It really made me think about where I was taking my characters.  It did take me longer to complete than I thought it would, though.  Now when I sit down to write at the end of the day I can just go, and I do.  I'm already on chapter 3 so I'm feeling very positive and upbeat.  I may actually get another book wrote and maybe it won't take me a year to do it.

And writing when you have small children is possible.  Saying otherwise is an excuse.  Even if you can only manage to eek out 15 minutes a day that still makes almost 2 hours of writing a week.  And if you're like me once I get myself sat down for my 15 minutes I usually find that the time flies and I write for longer.

Money Making Online

Is it possible to earn a little extra money writing for these content sites?  Or is it some kind of hoax where you do all the work and someone else profits?
The more I research the more confused I become.
Making money is tempting (when is it not), but that saying, "If it's too good to be true," comes to mind.
I am a stay at home mom.  It really wouldn't be worth it (for me) to find a job outside the home.  The daycare alone would take care of any pay cheque I would bring home.  I also love being home with my children and am planning on homeschooling when the time comes.  That being said, I would still like to earn just a little to help out with expenses or put it in a vacation savings or an emergency account. 
So I will continue to weed through the multitude of sites out there and hopefully make an educated decision if it seems like a good idea.  Here are a few I have been looking at:
Constant Content , suite101 , factoidz , demandstudios , brighthub.com
These are the tip of the ice berg.