The Critique

Well...I opened the box and I didn't cry.  That's an improvement, I'm getting stronger lol

The critiquer made a lot of really good points.  Mostly I agree with everything that was said.  I found myself nodding my head going "absolutely".
 
The one thing she didn't like was my title, but I love my title and most people have made a point of saying they like it too.  So it's not changing unless I get a way better argument.

She ( I think it was a gal from the handwriting), said my basic format is good and that my story is engaging.  She thought my main character is intriguing and she'd never seen one quite like her,  that really makes me want to continue with this story.  I'm invested.

There are a lot of changes to make to make it a stronger story.  I felt like I was floundering with my revisions, going over and over it.  Now I feel like I have a clear path to get this mostly right : ) and build stronger characters and a tight plot.

This was exactly what I needed.  Money well spent, especially since I'm really considering going the self-publishing route but we will see what happens.

What's In the Box?

The BOX is sitting on my counter next to my laptop.  It's freakin' me out.  What's in it?

It is my first manuscript back from the critiquer.  It's been gone roughly 6 weeks and I've been so impatient to see the comments.  Now that it's here I'm terrified to look.  My work usually comes back covered in red. There's always positive comments but just seeing the initial marking all over my work is a little hard on the ego.

I know I have to open it before I go to bed or the what ifs will keep me up all night.

Wish me luck.

W.I.P

I'm happy to say that my new WIP is at about 18,000 words so far and I'm still in the beginning section of my outline.  I'm excited to be working on a new book.
My last book has been sent off to be critiqued and I'm waiting on pins and needles (pardon the cliche).  I'm trying to stay busy with my newest project.  My Writer's Club is very supportive and like the new story and say my writing is improving. 
I'm going to make more of an effort to be more consistent with my writing and this blog.  It really saddened me to realize that I'd only made one entry last year.  So I'm really hoping this time it's not like the resolutions I make and don't follow through on.
It does help that I've got a new battery for my laptop which gives me a little more freedom of where to write instead of being tethered to my kitchen counter.

Fake It

The time of year when we all think about resolutions; things we feel we want to accomplish for the next year.  We see the year spread out in front of us with all the promises we make ourselves completed by next year.  It feels so full of hope and energy, but then life sets in and resolutions seem to be the first thing broken.  Then we feel guilt blah, blah, blah!!

So this year, no resolutions!  I strive to keep going what I've already started.  I began getting in a real habit of writing once I got my girls put to bed at night.  Even if I only sit there for 5 minutes.  Some nights it's a real struggle to make myself get in there, but the amazing thing is once I sit down I'm usually there for at least an hour.  I feel so proud of myself with these little accomplishments.  Because of my 4 or 5 days a week writing at night I've finished a book.  The revisions are almost done. 

Now the hard part, (at least for me) is the feedback and sending it out.  How can fear of success be what holds me back?  I'm not scared of the rejections, that I expect, but what if just maybe someone likes it and want to publish it?  Then what?  In case you haven't guessed I'm terrified of anything new.  The older I get the worse I get. 

So my saying for this year is, "Fake it until you make it!!"  (It applies on so many levels lol).
Most people that I talk to have no idea that I have an almost debilitating fear of going into a crowd of strangers and making conversation.  I'll fake that I'm a people person, I'll fake that I'm fabulous, I'll fake it until it becomes part of who I am.

Head up, shoulders back...I'm a fabulous people person with great conversation skills.

Who's with me??

Back at 'er

Well summer is definitely over.  We've been very chilly and I'm going to have to harvest my produce from my greenhouse.
I'm happy to report that I've done one round of revisions on my book and have my word count up to 56,000.  I'm going to do another round of revisions then let my writer's group take a peak and tell me what they think. 
I actually really love revisions.  It's exciting delving back into the story and fleshing it out more so it resembles the pictures in my head.

Slacking

Summer has brought an end to any sort of schedule I may have had; between swim lessons, trips to the zoo, gardening and mowing lawn (the list goes on and on) my schedule is a thing of the past (at least until summer is done).  Also, my hubby has been underfoot a little more since we've had such rotten weather.  Lots of rain and ginormous hail and a tornado touched down in the near vicinity, needless to say, rain + the oil patch = no working, but I digress.

I had gotten in a pretty good groove of getting my daughters to bed and then working on my writing, whether it was on my WIP or revisions I was doing something writing geared 5-6 nights a week.
But the longer days are prolonging bedtime and the girls aren't going to bed as good as they were and my writing time is getting pushed later and later.  I'm a procrastinator by nature and once my schedule has been lost I'm screwed.

So last night I sat down at the computer and worked on my revisions for my finished project, I'm on chapter 6 and I've got my word count up to 52,000 words.  Hopefully by the time my writing group starts meeting again in September it will be done so I can get some feed back on the completed project.  I'm also excited to get back to my new book. 

Now to get over a fear of success (if there is such a thing) and send out some submissions.

Is this what I really want?

How many times do we ask ourselves that question? 
Is this what I really want?

Writing, it feels so much like work, like a job, something that isn't fun...sometimes.
Then there are the other times it feels so rewarding, like there is nothing else you'd rather be doing.
It's hard to get started but I never regret the time I spend writing, I usually feel like a pressure has been released once I'm done. I can take a deep breath and feel satisfaction.

You don't know how many times I've thought, "God my life would so much easier if I didn't feel this need to write." 
I put my girls to bed and then it's on to writing.  Sometimes I get whiny, why can't I watch TV like my friends.  I have to tell my inner two year old to put on her big girl panties and get on with it.

So why do I spend so much time on something that I don't seem to pursue down that final path?  
I only take it so far, then I stall. 
Is it possible to be scared of success? 
The feeling that everything might change.  I know logically that change isn't all bad but ...

There are times when writing consumes my thoughts: the next scene in my book, the characters.  Often my WIP is the last thing I think about at night and the first thing I think about in the morning, the thing I daydream about during the day and yet it is often the last thing that gets worked on.

I know this is what I want.  It's what I keep coming back to no matter how many times I've tried to deny that it's in me and needs a place to be released.   There is something about writing that we can't do without or would so many of us keep pursuing such an illusive master.  It has me in its clutches. 

So today my girls are at Grandma's house and I'm working on revisions. 
I'm proud of myself I'm over 50 000 words and I'm only on chapter 3 of my revisions so at this rate I should have no trouble bringing my word count I where it needs to be.